Be kind to yourself

Ok let's get it out of the way nice and early, I have been absent for some time and really there is no excuse. Ok maybe one excuse I haven't found anything interesting to write about, shock I know.

My running mojo had taken a nose dive(again), I've been going out but it wasn't as fun as it use to be,  my pace had dropped considerably and I was constantly comparing myself to be previous form and ability. Beating myself up for how unfit and and lazy I had become; which is madness and if any of my friends had said this to me I would have told them to stop being so my hard on themselves, so why one rule for them and one for me?

Reflecting back on my year it really hasn't been too bad, I ran a couple of new races, I ran the Virgin Money London Marathon, took part in Thunder Run, ran my first trail

half, coached and ran with friends in the potteries marathon relay  and ran another international half marathon in Lisbon.  All in all a good year and I should be proud of my achievements and be thankful that

a)I have the physical ability to run 
b) it is safe for me to run 
c) made some amazing running buddies.  

Wait I forgot,  I also became a UKA running for fitness coach!! A very good year really

So why do I still feel sad, perhaps it is because I have recently changed jobs, which although it was through choice, something I was looking forward to and I knew things would change. But perhaps I hadn't mentally prepared properly for how much I  miss my home life and running with my club mates and friends.  I now work in London 5 days a week and stop down there for the most of the week, which means I miss out on club night and my weekends get compressed to trying to spend some quality time with loved ones, washing, shopping, ironing and trying to get some relaxing in. This means my desire to go out to xc or weekend races this year has really waived this year and staying home closest to nearest and dearest has won out. 

I think because I now identify myself as a not only a runner but a member of a club  of runners that although I can still (and do) run in London I have lost a little of the joy of running. I also don't think it helps the time of year I have started this new job but hopefully after December the night will start getting lighter and I will be able to see a little more of the city. All is not lost I still have parkrun  and I get to see most of them at the start and finish and if I am lucky one or two take pity on me and slow down to run with me.

I know I need to pull up my big girl pants and get on with it and start thinking about

what I can do and not focus on what I can't!  I also need to be nicer to myself, become my own best friend and start acknowledging my achievements and the occasional pat in the back